Despite the growing visibility of sex toys on social media, they are still steeped in stigma and mystery. Just like tiny homes or adaptogens, sex toys are often misunderstood, especially in a society where sexual pleasure is often treated as taboo or something to be ashamed of. In fact, in the U.S., less than half of states mandate factually accurate sex education, leaving many people with misconceptions about their own bodies and pleasure.
But pleasure isn’t a luxury — it’s essential for our overall well-being. Exploring different means of pleasure can have profound benefits, not just mentally and emotionally, but physically too. The act of experiencing pleasure can teach you more about your body, boost confidence, help you access orgasm, and flood your system with feel-good hormones. It’s time to lift the veil of shame and discover how sex toys.
Understanding Sex Toys and How to Choose the Right One
For beginners, selecting the right sex toy can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. Start with the basics: choose a toy that stimulates a part of your body you already enjoy having touched, whether solo or with a partner. If you’re new to self-exploration, a versatile wand vibrator.
Next, focus on body-safe materials. Look for toys made from non-porous, medical-grade materials such as silicone, stainless steel, or borosilicate glass. These are safe, easy to clean, and less likely to harbor harmful bacteria. Avoid toys made from porous materials, as they can’t be thoroughly sanitized.
Think about any additional features that might enhance your experience. For example, if you enjoy bath or shower play, choose a waterproof toy. If you travel frequently, a toy with a travel lock could be essential for peace of mind.
The Health Benefits of Sex Toys
Sex toys are not just about pleasure — they also promote vaginal health. Using vibrators can increase arousal. Increased arousal boosts blood flow to the vulvar and vaginal tissues, promoting lubrication, relaxing pelvic floor muscles, and lengthening the vaginal canal — all of which are important for pleasurable penetration.
Moreover, the more you orgasm, the more you strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. Many pelvic floor therapists recommend sex toys for people with pelvic issues, as orgasms involve a series of muscle contractions that help tone and strengthen this area.
Solo Pleasure: How to Use Sex Toys for Yourself
Using a sex toy for the first time can be thrilling, but it’s important to approach it with intention. You don’t want to go straight from zero to full-speed use. Instead, explore the sensation of the toy by gently pressing it against non-erogenous zones, such as your thighs or stomach. This helps you familiarize yourself with the toy’s buttons, features, and sensations, as well as increase your overall arousal.
When you’re ready to move to more intimate areas, be sure to apply lube, both to your body and the toy itself. Silicone toys can sometimes feel too friction-y without it. Using a lubricant like Aloe Lube helps the toy glide smoothly, making the experience more enjoyable.
As you explore, let your body guide you. If something feels good, keep doing it. If something doesn’t, adjust the angle or intensity. Trust your instincts — the key to pleasure is tuning in to what works for you.
Introducing Sex Toys into Partnered Play
When you’re ready to incorporate sex toys into partnered play, it’s essential to communicate openly with your partner(s). There’s no wrong way to use a sex toy together, but it’s crucial that everyone involved is enthusiastic about the experience. It’s best to introduce the toy before you’re in the bedroom. Make sure both partners are comfortable with the toy and understand how it will be used.
Be specific about the toy, its function, and how you plan to use it during play. Open conversations like this help ensure everyone is on the same page and can turn the experience into a bonding moment. Talking about pleasure and preferences strengthens the connection between partners and makes future experiences even more exciting.
Maintaining Your Toys and Staying Safe
After using a toy, don’t forget to clean it. Even if it’s made from medical-grade silicone, washing it with fragrance-free soap and water between uses is essential for maintaining hygiene and preventing bacterial growth. This is especially important for vaginal and anal health, as introducing bacteria to these areas can cause infections.
Debunking Common Myths About Sex Toys
A common myth about sex toys is that they can desensitize you to other kinds of touch or make toy-free sex less enjoyable. This simply isn’t true. You would have to misuse a toy for it to have any negative impact. Using a toy doesn’t mean you’ll stop enjoying other forms of pleasure or intimacy. If anything, it can enhance your connection with your body and your partner.
Sex toys are meant to complement, not replace, your experiences — they enhance your ability to explore and enjoy your body in new ways. And if you find that you’re able to orgasm more easily with a toy, that doesn’t mean you’re addicted to it or that it diminishes your desire for your partner.
Conclusion: Embrace Your Pleasure
Sex toys are a valuable tool for anyone looking to explore their pleasure, whether solo or with a partner. They can help you discover new sensations, promote vaginal health, and strengthen pelvic floor muscles, all while reducing the stigma surrounding self-pleasure. When you take your time, communicate openly, and listen to your body, the experience can be rewarding and fun.
So go ahead, explore the world of sex toys and find what works best for you. The ultimate goal? Enjoying your body, your pleasure, and your partner(s) to the fullest.